Cinderella: Part I

Cinderella: Part 1: The Little Mermaid

Growing up freckled and redheaded, I was nearly always compared to either Pippi Longstocking or Harriet from the TV show, Small Wonder. (Remember the show with the robot girl and Harriet, the horrible red-haired freckled neighbor?) These were not favorable comparisons. So when Disney’s The Little Mermaid came out, I was thrilled. I watched it over and over again. My brother collected all the McDonald’s Ariel rubber figurines and gave them to me for Christmas in a shoe box. It was my favorite present that year. I even remember coloring a Little Mermaid coloring book while I watched the movie. (Keep in mind that I was still doing this at age 15.) Seeing a character like Ariel made me think that being a redhead and being beautiful might not be mutually exclusive propositions. That was a big deal at 15.

Fast forward a decade or so: My oldest sister told me that she had recently banned The Little Mermaid from her house. I was shocked. She’s a redhead like me. Didn’t she feel the same kinship with a fellow ginger character?

I can’t remember her exact words, but when she explained why, it went something like this: “My nine year old is defiant enough. The last thing she needs to see is a rebellious sixteen year-old in a bikini.”

There it went in those few words--my love of all things Ariel was shattered. I had never thought about The Little Mermaid as anything more than a story about a pretty redhead. But I had no girls to raise then, just a truck-loving boy. I quickly saw the wisdom of my sister, the mother of a daughter. Since then, I have not been able to look at a single fairytale (with redheads or without), except through the eyes of a mother. And I am a mother who wants her children, daughters especially, to have good examples of virtuous, strong, capable, smart women.

So, about a year and a half ago, when my baby girl was given a blanket with a picture of Ariel on it, I thanked the giver politely and promptly sent the bikini-clad blanket on to Goodwill. I wasn’t going to begin sending mixed messages about modesty and sexual display before my child could even talk!

I felt a little self-conscious about taking such a strong stance so early on, especially because it felt like a very feminist thing to do (and I am not really a feminist). But the more fairytales I’ve read, the more convinced I’ve become that these stories about pretty girls are not benign and we should be careful of them, whether they come with pretty redheads or not.

Tune in next time for Cinderella: Part II: Cinderella

What Love Is...

When I was in high school, I had a huge crush on a boy who moved in. I found out that in the place he had lived previously, he'd liked this one girl so much that he had called into the radio station and dedicated a song to her. To me, that seemed like the pinnacle of love--the most public declaration a person could make. I thought, "That is what love is!" and mourned the fact he would never feel the same about me.
Since then, I've seen a lot more of what love is and I feel stunned and humbled by how much of it I receive and witness.

When my husband would hold back my hair and rub my back in the bathroom while I experienced terrible morning sickness, that was love.

When my younger son climbs into bed with my older son to sleep at night, that is love.

When my long-suffering friend doesn't mention it when I'm late for the 100th time, that is love.

When my sisters express confidence in me, despite having seen all my mistakes growing up, that is love.

When my mom went to the the hospital every day while my baby girl was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit fighting for her life, that was love.
Even though mom couldn't make it through the doors to see my daughter because it was too hard for her to witness the struggle of a tiny, sick infant, that was love.

When my kids climb into bed with me to snuggle in the morning, that is love.

When my husband sits and watches "What Not To Wear" with me, that is love.

When my friend gives me the bracelet she won in a blogger's drawing, that is love.

When President Hinckley sat, flanked by his son and daughter at the funeral of his wonderful wife, and cried in lonely anguish, that was love. Just seeing the picture makes me cry.

I am feeling very grateful for my loving friends and family. Thank you for being so kind to me. What love do you see and receive?

Junior Mint's Story

Yesterday, Junior Mint got upset with me because I wouldn't let him watch a movie preview on Netflix. He used his new Cub Scout skill of writing with Native American picture characters to write a story. Here is how part of that story went:

The boy with the big voice hunted the woman morning, noon, and evening. The boy swam in the river with a bow and arrow and shot the arrow at the woman. The brothers made peace. The brothers hunted the woman.

Junior insisted I sit and work out the symbols while he waited. When I was all done, he asked if I knew who the woman was supposed to be. I told him I was pretty sure I did.

Do anybody else's kids do stuff like this?

Pronoun Problems

Here is a conversation I had this morning with Curly Fry.

Curly: Me do it!

Me: No, you say, 'I do it.'

Curly: Me do it?

Me: No, 'I do it.'

Curly: You do it?

Me: No, you do it!

Curly: Me do it?

Pronouns are tough!

Accessories

I waited eagerly for my baby girl to grow hair so I could do the most girly thing available to an infant female---add accessories!! But this little missy pulled every headband, bow, and barrett right off her head the moment it made contact. Finally, I gave up putting in the adorable fabric flowers my sister made and the cute little bows I had finally bought after more than a year of choosing not to spend $3 on something for my girl just because it was pretty.

Then, one day, everything changed and she wanted to wear it at once.

Hallelujah, accessories!

A survey

Do you ever have nights when, if it weren't illegal, (I'm assuming), and morally reprehensible, you'd just shoot your kids with a tranquilizer dart and drop them in bed?

I know my answer. What's yours?

Steve Carell got interviewed on the red carpet at the premiere of "Get Smart" and was asked what super power he'd want if he could have one. He chose being able to put the kids to bed in under 5 minutes. That would truly be a super power.