Sunday, October 12, 2008

Vices

Today was Fast Sunday in my branch. I was nearly to the podium on my way up to bear my testimony when I noticed two other women had stood up on either side of me near the front, but that I was first up because I was closest. Without even thinking, I raised both my hands in the air to celebrate my "victory". Does that mean I've overly competitive? People either thought it was funny or that I'm a jerk.

Last week, I was at a lunch with some very lovely ladies and we started talking about some interesting stuff...abortion, politics, etc. I automatically talked first nearly every time an issue came up. It's like I'm incapable of shutting up. Have you ever had that experience? I can't tell you how many times I've had fun at some social gathering and then come home and thought of all the dumb things I said or did. Then I want to become a hermit and never speak to people again. In this instance, I didn't say anything I thought was stupid or would've taken back if given the opportunity--I just talked too much and didn't listen enough. I think often of a line from Anne of Green Gables. I'll paraphrase: Anne is discussing the issue of her verbosity when she says that if people knew how much she wanted to say, but didn't, they'd give her a little more credit. I feel that way a lot. (This is why I love people who are big talkers; then I don't seem to bad by comparison and there's an even give and take in a conversation. =) )

I wonder what it would be like to be one of those people whose vices are hidden to the world... Mine are so painfully obvious.

2 comments:

Dianna said...

Wow. I'm so glad other people feel that way! Now I don't feel like such a jerk for always feeling like I monopolize the conversation. It makes me wonder how many other people feel like that... Haha, I don't know if it helps, but I never thought you were out of line or spoke too much...

GrowingRopers said...

i love that you love anne too! i refer to you as my "boosom buddy" when talking about you :) truly :) i love you jennie!!! :) and if your testimony meeting is anything like ours often is you deserved a victory "waa-ho" for making it up to the podium before everyone beat you! :) take a victory lap baby! :)