Sunday, July 13, 2008


I have been upset for months that I couldn't attend my dear friend's wedding in Colorado. I figured, we're still paying for the last two kids--adoption isn't insured, you know--and I couldn't see how we could do it. But I checked airline prices in a meager hope that there would be something reasonable...and I found a really good deal. And even better, my husband was insistent that I go to show my love to my precious friend. He couldn't have been more supportive.

So, I called my friend to tell her and started trying to work out the logistics. Everything seemed to be falling into place nicely. But yesterday, I couldn't quite bring myself to actually put in my credit card number and do it. I am the biggest chicken sometimes. I just got all anxious. I don't know if it's because in college, I was reading the paper during Phsyics of Acoustics and saw that a good friend of mine had been killed in a car wreck over the weekend or what. (That was horrible). But whenever I go further than 3 hours from home, I think I'm going to die. A little weird, huh?

Today, I decided not to be chicken and just do it. The flights weren't quite as cheap, but pretty close. On my mom's advice, I decided to call my friend and ask if she'd rather have me at her wedding or some later time when we could spend more time together and I could bring the baby. She's been there for every big event in my life--and so many little ones. I wanted to be there for her wedding, but if she'd rather have me another time when things weren't so crazy and I could stay a little longer, I'd be happy to do that. So, I called her, and would you believe it? She picked later so we could be together more and she could meet my new baby.

This friend is 30, but in the last year, was diagnosed with two different kinds of breast cancer and will be having a very major surgery in the fall. I'm going out then. I just keep thinking, "I LOVE my girlfriends." Besides my sister, who are my girlfriends too since they're all so awesome, this particular friend has known me the longest--since I was 15. I moved around a bit as a kid, so I don't have friends from elementary school like some people do, but I have met such outstanding women in the last several years. In all likelihood, you are one of those women.

You've helped me through miscarriages and bad haircuts, (Melissa--remember the bandana stage?); through the death of our baby girl and my preceding hospitalization, through moves, parenting dilemmas, deep-seated insecurities, the unpredictable journey of adoption--twice!--, through fits of self-righteousness, and plain old stupidity. I just want to say to you all, I LOVE YOU. I don't mean that generally, either, like "I just love everyone here today..." I love you specifically and chances are pretty good that I pray for you personally all the time, even if I haven't seen you for years. I don't know how people can get by without girlfriends. I know I can't. Thank you for all your kindness and patience and forgiveness and rad senses of humor. I feel so humbled and thankful when I think of you and your place in my life.


Melissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa said...

My thoughts exactly. I don't know how anyone can survive without girlfriends. Love you babe!!

PS - I had to delete my previous comment due to horrible typos :)

Melissa said...

hooray for good and true friends~ no matter the distance or time! HUGS!!

Robin said...

I need more girlfriends who live nearby. Wanna move to Twin Falls?

Ah well, I guess I could at least try to do a better job communicating with you great girls who have scattered to the four winds! At least we have the internet!

Plainbellied said...

I'm grateful for your girlfriends, too, Sum. Thank you for being there for my sister when I couldn't be there, when I wasn't close enough to cut her hair myself (I promise I'm better than I was in high school!) or to take care of her kids. Thank you!

Old Man With a radio transmitter in his car said...

I agree with all of the above: girlfriends are cool. Unfortunately, my wife won't let me keep them anymore. I guess she's allergic or something. ;-)

Lagos Family said...

I dont know if you were thinking of me ... but I consider you a pretty rad gf... you make me laugh and you are so REALISTIC and down to earth... with high hopes and wishes that may never come true, but who knows... you're awesome!! love ya!